Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Ten Jobs I was BORN to do.

I have 24 days until I'm back in Iowa. Which means that my extended vacation is coming to an end and I'm going to have to start job hunting as soon as I get back. My aunt is going to be looking into getting me an interview at her hospital as a sitter. I guess I'd sit in rooms with patients, keep them company, and let the nurses know if they start to die or something. I don't quite understand the thing yet, but I'm getting more information as it comes along. But I got to thinking, the world is my oyster and all that motivational bullshit, I can do anything I want...That doesn't require a Bachelor's degree... or an Associates... or basically any type of college so honestly I'm actually really limited. But I'm pretty decent at photoshop, so I could totally get one of those in like five minutes. I've decided to explore some different employment opportunities. I think I'll rock these jobs.


Be Hugh Hefner


I could absolutely be surrounded by hot chicks all day and make tons of money off of their daddy issues. 


Batman


Fear not citizens of Gotham! There's a new Batman in town and she's got awesome boobs to distract the enemy with!


Headmaster of Hogwarts


I could rock being one of the most powerful wizards in the world. The series would have been much shorter if I was though, because I probably would have turned Harry into a toad for never following the rules.


Disney Princess


I'm not very good at singing, but I could rock the whole charming the pants off of Prince Charming thing. I've even already got the animal buddies, now I just need to teach them how to clean.


Pirate Captain


I'm not a strong swimmer and I get sea sick, but I could so plunder that booty. 


Drug Tester/Drug Dealer


"Oh, I see you tested positive for black tar heroin, ya know, I can beat your dealers prices."


Olympic Gold Medalist


In what event you ask? BEING SEXY.


The President of the United States


You get to lie, take vacations, and hang out with celebrities?! SIGN ME UP.


The Doctors Companion


I'm not very good at running but who cares? I'm awesome and The Doctor would LOVE me. 


Chris Hemsworth's Towel


I don't even need to explain this one do I?