Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Lies Women Tell

Today we're going to discuss five lies that almost every woman has told in her lifetime. I'm willing to bet that you've told at least one of these too. 

It was on sale.

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes it really was on sale and it's encoded in the female DNA to never pass off paying less for something we didn't know we needed until we saw that it was on sale... but mostly we wanted it and know that you probably won't go checking receipts and shit. But I'm a nice wife so some of the things I get "on sale" are for him too!

But it was on saaaaale. 

I'm not even that drunk.

I don't know if this is just a white girl thing or if it spans across the races/world but we women hate to admit we're drunk. I will spend thirty minutes sending a ten word text to make sure everything is 100% correct. Funny story: Drinking at home with the old roommate a few years ago, and it's her first time ever getting drunk. We live in a two story house, and the stairs are old and shaped weird. Baby daddy decides to drop the little dude off instead of keeping him so she tells us she's going to put him to bed. I see she's pretty drunk and tell her that I'll do it. 

Her: "I'm not that drunk. I can take care of my own baby!"
*storms out of room*
*THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD* *SILENCE*
Her: I'M OKAY!

Oh memories. 



I hate drama 

Don't lie. You hate drama that affects you. But if you can watch shit go down that has absolutely nothing to do with your life, you're gonna do it. Half the people I keep on Facebook are only there because they make me feel better about my life. True story. 



Nothing's wrong aka I'm fine.

We've all said it. There's not really any explanation needed but I'll throw any men who may happen to stumble over here a bone and say that this one is tricky. Press for more information and you're own risk but for me when I say this I just want to be left alone with my thoughts. 

However sometimes when something is really obviously wrong and I know that the husband knows how he upset me, I'm fine really means you need to address the situation. Women are confusing. It comes with owning a vagina. Sorry. 



I came/That was great!

This is pretty self explanatory.

So is this!

Which lies have you told?

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4 comments:

  1. I am dying of laughter. Oh my God. This was great.

    xo fal
    falfindshappiness.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would say I am guilty of all of the above!

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  3. So funny and true which makes it all the more hilarious!

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Stroke my ego baby!