No one holds a grudge like me.

When I was younger I was obsessed with Pokemon. I wanted Meowth and Jiggypuff e-ver-y thing. 

I collected the cards, the movies, the pillow cases, etc. If it was Pokemon, I wanted it. I remember the excitement I felt the night I opened that deck of cards. Flipping through them pulling the ones I already had, and there it was. A shiny reflection and I just knew I had finally found it. 

My holographic Charizard was in this pack. I immediately put it in my little book and celebrated. I'd been looking for it forever and I finally I had it. Life could not get much better for a ten year old. But then the unthinkable happened... I was going through my binder of cards one day and realized it was missing... My prized possesion wasn't where it belonged! To say I had a meltdown is a bit of an understatement, I went full on nuclear. 

WHO THE FUCK TOUCHED MY CARDS? Answer: Enter five year old brother. You know what that bastard did? Do you? He traded it. For a beat up Japanese holographic Blastoise and five dollars. I could have killed him, if mom hadn't pulled me off of him first I would have. I was furious. I didn't talk to him for a week. And you know what? Out of everything in the world, (even missing 100% on my spelling test) to this day nothing gets my blood boiling like thinking about the loss of my Charizard. Thirteen years later and I'm still extremely bitter about it and give my brother shit about it whenever I can.

Moral of the story: Don't fuck with my Pokemon. 

___________________________________________

I Don't Understand How This is Even a Debate!

I may lose some readers after this, but...

I can not wrap my mind around the fact that it is 2013 and we are even still debating the issue of marriage equality. Love is love is love, and who am I to tell someone that their love is worth less than mine? It's not a matter of same sex rights, it's a matter of HUMAN rights, and I don't see how after all of the advances this country has made, people still don't understand this. I've decided to look up the top ten reasons people are against same sex marriage, and give my opinion on them. So here we go. 

1) Same Sex Marriage will destroy the institution of marriage. 

Because Britney Spears three day just for fun drunk marriage was AWESOME and completely within everything that marriage stands for. We allow drunk ass strangers to get married in Vegas, but a same sex couple that's been together for thirty years doesn't get that same right? That's bologna. (That always bothered me how it was spelled, but I digress) We have celebrities like Elizabeth Taylor who have been married fifteen million times, but as long as she marries men the institution of marriage is still holding strong! I'm sorry, I thought that marriage meant you were promising yourself to ONE person for the rest of your life, not until you decided you don't like them anymore and want to move on to the next love of your life. 

New York city residents Phyllis Siegel, 77, and Connie Kopelov, 85, 

have been together for 23 years and were the first couple to marry in NYC.

HOW do THEY have less right to marry than you and I?!

2) If same sex marriage is legalized, polygamy will follow.

WHO THE EFF CARES?! King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 whores. If wife one and wife two are okay with sharing the husband who are you to say that it's wrong? It's their marriage. It's their life. You don't want to be in a polygamist relationship? Don't be. Simple as that. I am addicted to Sister Wives and think they've got an awesome marriage. Could I do it? No. Will I judge them? Nope. Not my place. If they're okay with sharing the love, then share away baby!

 Love is Love.

3) Same sex marriage would make heterosexual divorce to easy. 

Uhm. How? This may be one of the stupidist arguments that I've ever heard. Really? If two men getting married affects your marriage in any way shape or form your marriage didn't mean jack crap in the first place. Sorry to say it. 

Well?

4) Same sex marriage would require schools to teach tolerance. 

Why aren't we doing this anyways? Do we still go around thinking it's okay to hang someone because they're black? Or throw people into a concentration camp because they're Jewish? I don't understand how this could possibly be a bad thing. Teaching people to love and respect people regardless of what they believe, the color of their skin, or who they love, should be common sense. 

 It's no longer a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN.

5) Same sex marriage will allow same sex couples to adopt. 

And? With all of the children in foster care, why would that matter? Straight parents don't only raise straight children, it's not like suddenly we're going to have a million of gay children and we won't be able to repopulate our already overpopulated planet. How are you going to sit and tell a child that there's a couple that wants to bring them home and give them the love they deserve, but you're going to leave them bouncing around in foster care because they both have a penis? How ludacris. 

Look at how happy and loved this child is. How is that wrong?!

6) That foster parents would be required to take sensitivity training. 

Once again, I fail to see the negative in this. Pretty much refer to number four for this. 

7) Social Security can't afford to pay for same-sex couples. 

Social security is dwindling at this point anyways. I have this overwhelming feeling that every paycheck we get is getting paid into a program that won't be available to us when we retire anyways. The government keeps borrowing from it and it's going to bankrupt the program. Even so, how many gay couples do they think there are in the United States? Not all of them are going to run out and get married the very first day they can (although a LOT will). And even so, not all of them are old enough to collect on social security. Pointless argument. 

Seriously, have you ever gone shopping with a gay man? FABULOUS.

8) That legal US same sex marriage would encourage it to spread. 

Most of these "arguments" just have me shaking my head and going "Really?" Once again, who cares? There are plenty of other countries that have same sex marriage legalized and nobody burst into flames or forced a straight man to marry a gay man. Get over it, it's not your marriage, it's not your business. 

9) That same-sex marriage would make evangelism more difficult. 

How would two people getting married affect your ability to tell people about your God? People are still going to go to church, this doesn't affect anything. I don't understand this...

10) That same sex marriage would bring about divine retribution. 

Personally, I'm an atheist. *GASP I KNOW RIGHT?!* BUT I believe that every religion has the right to practice whatever it wants and believe in whatever it wants. If you want to believe in God, good for you. If you want to believe in Allah, awesome. Buddha? Rub that belly baby. Want to believe in a flying spaghetti monster that lives in the clouds and touches everyone with his noodly appendages, that is your right. With that out of the way, I have done a lot of research into different religions, and this is what I've come up with. Christians believe that the rapture will happen, and if you've been a good God fearing Christian, when he comes down for retribution, you'll be safe! No need to worry about the gays that got married because you'll be chilling up in heaven with the big man sipping on wine and eating crackers or something like that. Isn't the message of the Bible something along the lines of love thy neighbor and judge the sin not the sinner? Didn't Jesus hang out with a prostitute? Want to know what Jesus had to say about homosexuality? Not a single damn thing. At all. Not a word.

 

So there you have my responses to the top ten reasons that same sex marriage shouldn't be legalized. It amazes me that the majority of the popular arguments your hear are religion based, when we live in a country that literally the number one rule is "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." What does that mean you ask?

That is all.

Top Five Reason my Husband ACTUALLY Plays Video Games

Top Five Reasons my Husband SAYS he Plays Video Games

1. I can do things in video games I can't do in real life.

Like fly, cut bitches with swords, and ride on dragons. Who doesn't want to cut a bitch while riding a dragon? Sounds like an awesome way to waste spend an entire weekend to me! Outside is evil anyways, fresh air is TOTALLY overrated.


2. It's a good stress reliever, you can get all pissed off and instead of going out and gunning people down, you can do it virtually. (Paraphrased a bit)

I REALLY hope video games aren't the only thing preventing my husband from going on shooting sprees, but hey, I married him right? There go all of my dreams of taking a baseball bat to his computer. Imagine the stress relief THAT would bring!


3. Imagination - ideas that other people come up with.

I'll give him this one to a certain extent. This is why I average three books a week minimum when I decide to read. Being transported to somewhere other than Alaskaland is like heaven! However, I'd much rather be on the beach with a daquari than stuck in some grungy dungeon beating off trolls with a magic stick. To each their own I guess.


4. Something that I'm good at enjoy, some people play football, I blow off people's head. (Digitally of course!)

I've never seen my husband attempt any sport at all, so who knows? Maybe he's AWESOME at football. But yes, he is good at what he does. To the point where playing anything with him that has friendly fire is impossible. Either I don't shoot anything because I know he'll jump in front of my bullets, or where ill kill him on purpose instead of just sitting there the whole game. He's no fun to game with at all. I randomly push buttons on Mortal Kombat, he has the entire 26 button attack memorized.


5. It requires no physical effort.

There is no arguing with this.



Top Five Reasons my Husband ACTUALLY Plays Video Games

1. He can be a chick. With very little clothing.

I don't understand this, but if he has the option between being a male or a female character 99.99% of the time, he will choose the female. He says that it's because he's a guy in his everyday life, so he goes with different in his video game character. I think it's the short skirts and triple H jugs.


2. He can choose how much/how little clothing to put on his person.

EVERYTIME I see my husband playing APB his character is wearing less and less clothing. *Insert mini rant here* The clothes. OH THE CLOTHES. Or lack-thereof actually. Video game characters are clearly invented by men. NO woman is going to go running down the street in six inch hooker boots, fish nets, a g string, and nipple pasties. I'm sorry, it just doesn't happen. Especially when that woman is running around with an AK as well. Uh, where did she put that gun just now? Never mind... I don't want to know. And I'm sorry, those size F sweater puppies are NOT sitting that high up on her chest cause nature put them there. Just sayin'.


3. He can get free stuff from dudes who think that because he plays as a girl, he is a girl.

This never fails to crack me up. "Be my Internet gf? I'll give you a million online dollars." My husband could catfish the best of them, people truly believe that because his character has boobs, he does too. He's had people offer to buy him multiple things in game, and has even had a few offer to buy him a webcam/new mic because they wanted to "See how sexy he was in person." Why yes random stranger on the Internet, my husband is rather sexy, but I don't think you'll agree with me once you realize that she has a penis.


4. No female in any video game can ever do anything without sounding like its an orgasmic experience.

Seriously! If getting punched in the face felt the way it sounds on some of these games, sign me up for some MMA fighting, mommas got some punches to take. You fell? Oh! Monster bit you? OH GOD! Got stabbed twelve times? UGH OH GOD OH MY! Jumped from a cliff and broke your leg? I'm obviously doing something wrong here, because that sounded like a lot fun!


5. It requires no physical activity.

Once again, can't really argue with this one.


Also, my apologies for the one picture post, I try to break up wordy posts with pictures but alas, my computer has died on me temporarily. Until I can get her fixed (yes her, come at me bro) I have to post from my phone, which hates allowing me to post more than one picture, at the very end of said post. Boo! Anywhoozles...

Pictured: The husband in his natural habitat. Take note of powerade bottle, plate of food, posture, and the fact that my husband sparkles. Unbeknownst to me I married a Cullen. Oops.

Come on Kristen.

Kristen Stewart annoys the crap out of me.

I can not stand her.

At all.

I hate her with a firey passion inside my soul. 

Now, I actually liked the Twilight books. 

However, the cast. Oh, the cast. 

ALL WRONG. 

The ONLY person they cast right in my mind was Alice. 

Jacob and Emmet were decent, but the rest of them?

Nope. ALL wrong. 

Look at this chick. 

She is trying so hard to keep her mouth closed. 

And what's the result?

Mouth ticks. 

She can't sit still. 

She's stuttering... a lot.

And rambling. 

And every few seconds she does that awful "Tsk, well..."

UGH. HATE HER.

Just leave your damn mouth open. 

It's much less distracting. 

And don't even get me started on Edward.

NOT how I pictured him at all. 

I was so disappointed. 

Vampires don't sparkle. 

This is how it should have ended. 

And much love to you Jacob, 

but I can't very well do a Twilight post

without including this family portrait. 

So there you have it. 

I HATE the Twilight movies. 

And even more so, 

I hate Kristen Stewart. 

I hope she's a one hit wonder.

*Fingers crossed*