Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Like a virgin directing a porno.

Taking parenting advice from a person without kids is like a virgin directing a porno. We think we know what we're doing, but in reality... No clue. So today I'm gonna go ahead and post about what my parentings views are on some of the super controversial jazz. You can all laugh and point when something changes later down the line, or you can hate me for my views. Whatever you want, it's cool. Maybe when I finally pop out my own I'll come back and laugh and laugh and laugh and how silly I was, but hurr we go.


Breast feeding vs formula feeding

I feel that breast is best, HOWEVER I am not going to judge you for using formula. It's easier, takes less time, daddy can do it, some people can't produce milk, some babies don't latch, etc etc. There's not a damn thing wrong with giving your child formula. However, I'm cheap and if I can make that food for free in my boobies it's happening. Simple as that. I also like the idea of the bonding time. Cuddling with the baby while they're all hungry and jazz. Awe. 


Breast feeding in public

Your baby has to eat. As long as you're not making a huge spectical like "FUCK YOU ALL I'M GONNA WHIP MY TITTY OUT AND FEED MY CHILD. I DARE YOU TO SAY SOMETHING." with a huge neon sign, do your business. It's natural. I do think weather allowing tossing a nursing blanket over yourself for some modesty is always a nice thing, but I'm not going to say anything if I see you feeding your baby. Get that baby chunky. 


Extended Breast Feeding 

Ready for this one? No. Just, no. If you feel that your child still needs breast milk and they're three that's on you. I however feel that when my kid can walk up to me with a cookie and ask for some milk that shit should come from a cup, not a tit. I hate the "well in other parts of the world like Africa..." Yeah yeah, but you know what we have here that the small village in Africa doesn't? Access to plentiful food, medication, etc. That child is still breast feeding at 5 because he literally has no other options, not because mommy wants to keep bonding with the baby. I don't know. Honestly, PERSONALLY, I feel like one is a perfectly acceptable age to stop, two is pushing it, and three is unnecessary. But it's your boob and your kid, so whateva.


Vaccinations

There's been a lot going around about vaccinations causing Autism and jazz. I haven't looked into this too much but my view on this is: I will love my child regardless of anything that may or may not be wrong with it. I will deal with anything that's thrown my way, but I would much rather my child get a buncha shots and not get polio than possibly get Autism from something that there hasn't been a direct link to. Coping to life with an autistic child is much easier than coping to life with a dead one, so I'm playing it better safe than sorry. 


Circumcision

This is actually the topic that spawned this post. I will be circumcising my sons. I'll probably get judged for this, but oh well. If you don't want to get your son done, that's on you. I don't care because I will never, ever, ever see your little dudes little dude, therefor it's none of my business. I'm going to have it done for two reasons, ya ready? 
1) It's a bitch to clean. I babysat two uncut little boys and had to bathe them. I felt gross having the clean them. I want to get my kid clean, not feel like I'm molesting them. 
2) It looks weird. Yeah, I'm going to have it done for cosmetic reasons. Sue me. 
I've caught a lot of shit over that, but oh well. I don't care. It's a few seconds of pain when the baby is super young, he's not going to remember it. I'll eat my words if one day he comes up to me and tells me he hares me for having him cut, but until then judge away cause I'm not changing my mind.  


Cloth diapering vs disposable

I'm torn on this one. Like I said I'm cheap, so not spending hundreds of dollars on diapers sounds amazing to me, plus the cloth diapers around today are cute as fuck. However, as I've mentioned multiple times I suck at doing laundry before I have nothing else to wear. I'd rather not have to wash out shitty diapers multiple times a day. This is one of those things I'll have to research a bit more and see how it turns out. 


Co Sleeping

Remember how I said last night that my husband beats me in his sleep? You really think there's even a slight chance I'm going to put my baby in bed with my husband? Not ever going to happen. Ever. Our bed is just that, our bed. It's not being shared. period. Just no. 

And there ya have it. A few parenting ideas from someone who's probably never gonna have a kid with the rate my husband is going. *sigh* Do you agree with anything I said? Disagree? Tell me! I wanna know! 

1 comment:

  1. I don't have kids either so this comment is probably worthless. I am with you all the way on these. Esp the diapering issue. I'm all "if I didn't spill anything on the dress or sweat in it, I'm hanging it back up in my closet!" with laundry. I'd adopt a kid that is potty trained vs a newborn for the sake of sleep and lack of diapers.

    ReplyDelete

Stroke my ego baby!