My first real kiss, tongue and all, was when I was eight years old. Yeah. I was a bit of a sloot back in the day. Okay not really considering it was only that boy and I didn't have another kiss until I was 15... Buuut eight year old me got a little mouth action. I don't think I've ever told anyone the full story, not even my mom who got all the details of my losing my virginity so it's only fitting that I spill all the details on the internet where it lives on forever.
I had such a crush on David L. He lived across the common area from me in the apartment complex my grandparets owned and he was dreamy. He was also quite the little player. David, Ashaki, and I used to play together every day after school and spent the weekends together. My grandpa had decided to build us a shelter where the bus picked us up in the mornings so we had somewhere to hide when it rained. Our bus driver was mean and if she didn't see a kid at the bus stop she wouldn't even stop. Even if you were clearly running to catch the bus and she saw you, so after one too many missed busses he caved and gave us a place to wait and keep dry. What this also gave us was a small building that parents could only see into if they were standing in front of it. Which they never did. In a town of literally 100 people, all of them living in the apartment complex we pretty much had full reign of the place. One day we were playing in the shelter and David decided to hold a contest to see who the better kisser was between Ashaki and me. I had a huge lady boner for him so I was all for the chance to kiss him! Ashaki went first and I got sloppy seconds, but I was so high in the clouds I didn't even care. Now? Oh hell nah I'm not sharing my man with anyone, not even my best friend. I digress. So it was my turn and he kissed me and shoved his tongue into my mouth. I was taken by surprise but didn't want to seem like a baby so I rolled with it. It was wet, warm, and awkward as fuck. I got absolutely nothing out of it seeing as I was eight and we never ever did it again. He wouldn't tell us who won and moved away a few months later. I thought I'd never have to see him again and my awkward first kiss could be just an uncomfortable memory from the past. That was until I was 15 and he moved down the street from my cousin. I about died when I walked into my aunts house and saw my first kiss sitting on the couch. He of course brought it up and mortified me in front of my cousin. Asshole.
But running into him all of those years later I asked him who he thought won his little contest. I AM THE CHAMPION!
If my future children ever ask though, my first kiss was when I was 15. How do you tell your kids you were a child whore? Simple. You don't.