Oh Look, A Resolution Post. So Cliche.

Well, here we are in 2015. It's been a ridiculously long year with a lot of extreme highs and lows, an emotional roller coaster for the ages yo. There were times I didn't think I'd survive, but here I am. Alive and mostly well. This upcoming month is going to be ridiculously boring for me, the husband leaves for NTC soon and with him leaving the only personal interaction I get on a daily basis will be gone for 30+ days. I'm going to have to make it a priority to leave the house at some point. I think I'll go play Bingo for a night or two. I never win, but one can hope to win $1,000 right? Wouldn't that be an awesome way to start out the new year?

With it being the new year and all I'm supposed to be making resolutions, because that's what you do right? You put off until the new year what you said you'd do last year, and the year before, and the year before that. It's tradition, and we don't fuck with tradition in these here parts.

My resolutions are relatively simple ones.

1) I have not completely quit smoking yet, and I would like to be completely done with it. While the husband is gone I plan on taking that final step into smoke free land. I figure with the husband not being here I'll be much less likely to be a bitch to him. Especially considering he'll be "in the box" for eighteen days and I won't even be able to talk to him. This is going to suck, but at least I don't have to worry about jail time for killing my husband, and that is always a nice thing to not have to worry about. I am also resolving to not start smoking again after my surgery.

2) Get my surgery. This one is scary and exciting. It's terrifying to think about how drastically I'll change both physically and mentally. It's going to be draining, and I look forward to it. Following my surgery I resolve to start working out. Excess skin is something that the majority of people that have this surgery have to deal with. There's no getting around it with the damage already done and the speed in which you lose the weight. However, it seems like the more that people work out during the loss the less lose skin they have to deal with. I'm not above getting a tummy tuck when the time comes if that's needed, but I'd rather not have to pay for it if it can be avoided, which means gym time baby. The more I've looked into the surgery and talked to people who have had it done, the more I think that this is going to be one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I mean look at the difference in these pictures. I'm excited to see what my skinny face looks like, because I have no idea.

3) One of the side effects of the surgery can be hair loss. Your body isn't getting the nutrition that it's used to and your hair commits suicide due to the lack of potatoes or something. I'm totally bullshitting the reasoning, but your hair can start to fall out. If I still had my luxorious long hair I wouldn't be worried, but my hair has already started to thin a lot as is due to the millions of gallons of hair dye I've doused it in over the years. I've been dying my hair since I was ten, and it's finally caught up with me. I've resolved to not dye my hair for the next year, and attempt to let it heal a bit before the surgery fucks it up again.

4) After surgery I'd like to lose at least 50 lbs by the time NYE 2016 rolls around. If I get the surgery in August that's five months for 50 lbs, in my mind totally doable.

5) Once I get the surgery I want to take pictures once weekly along with doing weigh ins and measuring. I think this will help hold me accountable for doing the work needed with the surgery. It will also let other people who are considering getting it done see in real time the changes that my body goes through. I'm nervous about it, but I also plan on taking bare stomach pictures, because loose skin is one of the things I've been worried about and I think it will be healthy for me to not have that as some hidden scary thing. I googled it a lot and wasn't able to find very many people willing to show it, so that's something I'd like to do.

There you have them, my four resolutions. I think I'll kick their butt. This year is going to have a lot of big changes and I'm ready for them. I really hate that I have to wait until June to start my classes, but that happens and it gives me more time to prepare. It also lets me have one last good go at eating me some Mexican food that's real. Why? Because I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO CALIFORNIA IN MAY!

Not that I'm super excited about that or anything. My parents are going on vacation, and my little sister has a lot of special needs so my mother wants someone there 24/7 who knows how to take care of her and can drive to the hospital if needed, so they bought me a plane ticket and I'm headed out there. My mom being the super awesome mom that she is knew I'd want to spend time with her when she returned, so I'm going to stay out there for a whole month. I love California and I'm so excited to go home for a bit. I also plan on hitting up Ross for a few "these are cute and will fit me in a few months" clothes. Maybe a pair of "goal size" pants. I don't know, but clothes are expensive, I'll hopefully be dropping down quite a few sizes, and Ross is cheap.

We had another marriage counseling session and I'm not sure that it's going to work out with our counselor. She talks about herself the majority of the session and goes off on weird tangents all the time. I don't feel like we're able to talk about our issues, let alone resolve them with her. We told her one of the things we struggle with is money, and she went onto a tirade that went from WWII and women going into the workforce, to some case where she had to suspend visitations from a father with his daughter because the grandma was leading the child to say that he sexually abused her, to how expensive everything was and how she couldn't imagine having to shoulder everything by herself because of insurance costs. Mind you, LAST session we had she told us she made six figures a year, so if she can't afford to support her and her husband on that, they must be eating literal golden crisps for breakfast. Ugh. I just don't feel that click of being compatible, and at this point the only thing she does in unite husband and I in our annoyance for her.

Other than that my life is just as boring as ever. I'm reading again. I've started my goodreads goal for the year and have pledged to read 100 books again. I finished my goal last year in November, and decided to go for it again. I basically just read and watch TV because my life is thrilling. We had a cat, and we rehomed her. She was going after the dog something fierce and wasn't happy not being the only animal. We found someone that fell in love with her immediately and I'm really happy with the pairing. Tempest is almost potty trained now, she's really good at being super obnoxious when she needs to go out and hasn't had an accident in the house in a few days. It's been harder potty training her during the winter, but it finally seems to be going well. She's gotten big, and has absolutely no fucks to give about anything other than what she wants.

Oh you're trying to sleep? That sucks for you.